Hard Truth

Okay! One thing that truly and dramatically affects me is inaction. As in, opposite of action. I sit paralyzed, but quivering inside. I feel like I couldn’t stand if I wanted. I become so overwhelmed with all I feel needs to be done, and all I see is the big picture. I won’t instinctively get up to attack the must-do’s. In truth, I attack myself, my sanity, and cause myself more anxiety and depression because I don’t get up. *Won’t* get up.

So, I’ve begun writing out big picture, what I want to accomplish. Next, I write down the smaller steps that will help me achieve my vision. Sometimes, I accomplish several steps in one day, and sometimes hardly one thing. But I’m moving and working. Mostly, I’m not allowing that despicable Bipolar to win.

Action and small check marks on the list always helps my mood. As I am completing tasks, or endeavoring to create some type of art, my brain fog begins to clear. I begin knowing I *will* get this done today. I will think of ideas to help the project along. I will discover new artistic ideas I have and jot them down. I physically feel better as well. Mostly, as stated earlier, I’m kicking BP’s backside. I’m tired of it stealing my days, months, years… Key is, I have to remember to trust my rational self and know I’ll feel better if I start moving, even though my *feelings* say to stay in bed and hide.

Have any of you experienced that paralyzing poison? What do you do to conquer? Would love to know.

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