Pics at 5:16 a.m. Part of the crash. Still taste that hot bile from that adrenaline that pumped for those few days. I’m tired. Physically tired. Mind is racing, though… won’t switch off. All of this, and even as I’m tired, I am not sleepy.
Hope the Sandman visits soon. Maybe I pissed him off when I was a kid??
So, had a few days of creativity and fun. Spent money I shouldn’t have. Luckily, I didn’t break the bank this time, and I only bought small gifts for my family. Still, that money should’ve been allocated elsewhere. Last night, I finally fell asleep. Hard. Like bottle of water still in my hand kind of hard. Slept for hours, probably 12 or so. I’m incredibly depressed and sick. I have an autoimmune disorder anyway, so anytime my system is attacked by mania or depression, I also must deal with physical illness and inflammation in chronic pain areas, such as my ankle.
I knew this was coming, during the hypomania and feelings of elation, I mean. Once it hits me, many times I have thought to myself that I forgot how bad this can, and will most assuredly, be.
I’m going to add photos of myself. I think its important to chronicle the whole shebang. I feel awful, and don’t want to minimize that in this blog. Also, I’m going to add a pic that lists quick definitions of mania, hypomania and depression that those with Bipolar face. If you’re not aware of definitions, things might be confusing. Additionally, if you ever have any question about something I’ve posted, you won’t offend me by asking. Will be glad to answer questions.