bipolar-uninvited

It promts, "Tell people a little about yourself." Cards on the table...I have Bipolar...in spades! I also have this cat I love. An orange tabby named Richard Parker (lifted from the novel and movie "Life of Pi.") I mention him first because he loves me, and I love him with an unconditional love. He is wonderful therapy, and often knows what is going on with me before I do. I have a beautiful son, and a husband who is a minister, currently serving as a chaplain for a hospice organization. I'm into this adult coloring. I am always reading. Novels, comics, magazine articles, devotionals and the Bible. I listen to books as well. I love my Kindle Fire. I'm a caretaker for my mom. That one is a long story that will unfold here. I adore song birds and beautiful colored birds. I love zoos and aquariums. Museums, too. However, I have many physical issues holding me back now. That story will be another that unfolds. I love water. So glad I live near a river. Oceans, waterfalls, rain, and I even visited Niagara Falls, flying overhead in a helicopter. I did the latter with a dear friend who I eventually ended up losing because of a crappy manic spell, during which I was apparently a crummy person and friend. That has happened a lot. I think I'm getting better about that because I'm opening up more. I'm working on becoming more vulnerable, transparent and real. This has scared people off, but the ones who stay around, those lovlies have been solid friendships for years. "Tell people a little about yourself" it prompts. There isn't anything little about me. Even when I was a kid, young, "little" girl, so much lurking, menacing. I think I've been Bipolar forever. I wasn't diagnosed until 2004, however. This was after a terrible manic, psychotic breakdown. In front of my husband. In front of my three year old son. In all of my life, I'll never know what that did to them. This blog will have two authors. Hopefully three. Depressed, Hypo/Manic. And the third is the self who tries to remain stable, level and walking the line. I hope to share something that might help someone. I look forward to talking with folks, if they so wish. I want people to become educated. I've got a lot I want to do, and I'm sure this will become more and more tailored. Thanks if you decide to join me in the this journey. Let's survive both the fear and excitement of the BP Roller Coaster.

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Making It Hard on Myself

Sometimes…well, often quite honestly, I make it harder than it needs to be.

Just go to bed, Jennifer.

3 thoughts on “Making It Hard on Myself”

Debra says:

April 22, 2017 at 7:19 am

I’m sitting here , it’s after midnight. I should go to bed. But I know as soon as I get into bed my mind will start it’s engine . I try to get up earlier in the morning so I’ll be tired at an appropriate time…..I’m not very successful

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1. bipolar-uninvited says:
  
  April 22, 2017 at 7:23 am
  
  I hear you. I almost have anxiety attacks at the thought of having to go to sleep, because I know so much will go on in my mind. That’s why I began listening to music or a book. Doesn’t always cut it, but better than the past.
  
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terrepruitt says:

April 26, 2017 at 12:05 am

🙂

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