I will fight, and then I will go Home.
I know now more than ever that Bipolar Disorder is a disease. Having caught a glimpse today of what I used to be, I know Bipolar has indeed waged war upon me, and I have taken a lot of bloody blows. If it were an actual boxing match, it would have been different in two ways.
1. The towel would’ve been thrown in years ago, for my protection and safety.
2. There would have been a definitive moment when the fight was to end.
As it stands, I am not throwing in the towel, and I know I will fight this battle until the day I die.
I find a certain comfort in that, however. At least I know what I’m up against, and at least I know when it will end.
(Even if it’s not an ideal plan, I like having me a plan, folks!)
I’m just reminded of things Paul experienced and shared. Thorn in his side. Endurance. Running towards that finish line, and spending eternity in such an unfathomable beautiful miracle of a home with Jesus.
I’m going to beat this thing and win, despite daily struggles. I will not allow anything here (a temporary home) to keep me from joining my God, my Christian family, and loved ones in Heaven.
I know this world can be uncomfortable, unpleasant, with longings for something more. Do you know when I’m down and out with mental health issues or chronic pain, I say to myself (and most always out loud) “I want to go home.”
I will do my part as God directs me here, and then have an eternity without pain, only incomprehensible love, warmth, peace and joy.
I will fight, and then I will go Home. Thank You and Praise You, Jesus.