Earlier tonight, I was concerned why I hadn’t heard from friends or family in a couple of weeks. I screamed at myself, “What did you do! Stupid! Useless!”
I looked at the dates/times of text conversations, emails, Messenger, etc. I realized I have, in fact, recently communicated with these people, the very ones I felt I had upset. The very ones I legitimately thought had not been interested in talking. As I mentioned, I approximated two weeks of no communication, not two days, which was the most amount of time had elapsed since I heard from them. Two days felt like two weeks.
I feel time creep by, and that description doesn’t do it justice. No where near close. Time can slip away from me, and quite fast. Yet during every hour of this time, every minute even, feelings and emotions are so intense and amplified, I would swear to you there are a thousand years of mazes and deep waters to work my way through just to get on to the next minute, the next hour, all the while trying to make my way through the maze.
What’s at the end? I don’t know. I haven’t made it yet.