On Med Use

This is going to be a quick entry because even though so many people are against medication for mental illness, such as mine – Bipolar Disorder – my answer/choice is astonishingly simple.


First, if you’ve taken medication for a mental health issue and then eventually were able to stop taking that medication because of therapy and herbal supplements, let’s say as an example, congratulations. Truly. If you’ve truly got it in check and aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, I’m sincerely happy for you.

I’m not that person, though. I could say a lot of fancy stuff and throw statistics out there, but this is how utterly simple it is for me.

Without medication, I become manic and experience psychosis. So, while off meds here are a few things I’ve done in the past – tried to kill a woman who wasn’t there (hallucination), tried to burn my hair off because I decided my husband preferred blondes, also burnt a significant amount of carpet in a brand new house, pulled a pizza cutter on my husband telling him not to come near me, and let’s end this awesome walk down memory lane with shattering a gorgeous crystal vase whilst dancing atop the island in the kitchen.


Now, I have no memories of these things. I had to be told what I did. Would you like to know who does remember? My son, who was 4 years old when I did all of that and so much more, I’ve been told. I have no memory of it.

So, yes, these meds are not ideal. We don’t even know how/why they work, they’re expensive, they’re not good for the liver… There are many crappy side effects, such as brain fog and involuntary muscle movements in my leg.

Let me weigh that against my son seeing me pull a pizza cutter on his dad…yeah, for me, there is not even a choice to consider.

Is it the lesser of what really is two evils, yes absolutely, most certainly! But the choice is so simple, that it’s not even really a choice.


If you are one of the people who think if I ate better and took a vitamin (which I’m doing), the Bipolar and everything that comes along with it, affecting not only me but my entire family, would poof!! be gone, I will just say that I’m glad you are ignorant (not stupid) and unaware of what I’m describing to you. Ignorant of my Bipolar experience. I can, after all, only speak for myself.

I’m glad you don’t face such a choice.


4 thoughts on “On Med Use

  1. Jen, I totally get what you are saying. In the past I’ve tried more than once to go without medication, and each and every time my life was chaos. I have caused so much pain to family and have lost many friends due to manic and psychotic behavior, that always comes when I’m without meds.

    I hate the side effects, but they are 100x better than the chaos of life without meds.

    Liked by 1 person

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