The extreme sudden situations of motivation and survival are, I think, easier than the slow day by day dwindling sinking chipping away at a life. First this little thing is gone, then a year later that is stripped from you, then another 5 years later something else. Over time you look in the mirror and it’s not the same damn person. Weaker, lower, less and less motivation or will to live. Like the Chinese water torture of one drop of water hitting your forehead, then another and another over time until you’re screaming in terror and lost your mind. And you didn’t even see it coming. I’d rather be hit head on by a truck or a linebacker.
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I hear you.
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