Anger Aggression and Violence from Bipolar

Number One is bound to push a few buttons.

My thoughts on the first item listed in the blog link attached? I think it’s a slippery slope. Yes, these behaviors and actions can occur, but we don’t want misunderstandings. We’re trying to end stigma, so we must be careful.

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https://www.bphope.com/blog/three-bipolar-disorder-symptoms-no-one-wants-to-talk-about/

How Can I Help Her

HOW CAN I HELP HER ~ 5.30.18

 

As I drove to pick up my son from school this afternoon, I noticed the lady that is known around town as being somewhat mentally ill or “off” and rides her bike. She usually looks clean and put together…enough…but clearly you can tell something is, as I said, off.

Today, I noticed she had a dog with her. This is a new development. I was thinking to myself, where did she find the dog, and the poor dog looks so scraggly.

As I drove on, I questioned myself, why was I more concerned about the dog? Why is it known and *accepted* throughout town that there’s this lady who rides her bike at all times of day and night, and doesn’t have a home that any of us can figure out, and sometimes stops and just dances on the street…clearly unsafe. Why am I not more concerned about how I can help her? I realized the answer is, it’s overwhelming. And it’s overwhelming because I don’t know how to go about helping her.

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I don’t know where she lives, better worded as *stays*. If she doesn’t have an address that makes things even more difficult, such as receiving benefits. She clearly needs ongoing mental health assistance. How do I help with those issues? I could give her some money or some food, but that will only last her a couple of days.

And I just got to thinking…why as a community do we allow people like this to roam around like feral cats that we feed and water and do *enough* to keep them alive and comfortable but not really help solve the core issue. This is the second small town I’ve lived in where there’s been such an individual. I’m not sure if this is common, but I think that it most certainly is. I’ve come to the realization that I need to do some research here in my town, and in general, to educate myself on how I can help this particular lady and others I see in this situation.

Have any of you experienced something similar?

Two MH Docs Worth Your Time

Two Educational and Inspired Documentaries ~ 5.27.18

“Being Bipolar” and “OC87” – two amazing and courageous documentaries about Bipolar, Anxiety and more that will educate and inspire. Try them. You won’t regret it. Perfect for people with the disorder(s), family, providers & patients, students and those seeking answers.

Addition: I was asked where one can see these documentaries. I believe I saw OC87 a year or so back on Netflix, but in searching now, I see them both on Amazon Streaming only. Being Bipolar can be rented or “watched with ads” and OC87 is available for free if you have Amazon Prime.

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Assassin’s Creed

ASSASSIN’S CREED ~ 5.24.18

There is something that needs saying. People slam the movie Assassin’s Creed with Michael Fassbender, and they’re just flat wrong.

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It’s an interesting premise, and there’s solid acting by Fassbender and Marion Cotillard. And let’s face it, folks, Michael is so good looking. What’s not to like? 😉

Seriously though, I think I’ve come to enjoy and appreciate superhero type movies because it’s nice to see characters fight for what’s right and honorable, because frankly, that can be hard to find in this world we reside today.

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Just enjoy the view. It’s good for your mental health. 🙂

Do you have a favorite movie, actor/actress or book as your go-to for relaxation? I’m loving Marvel these days. Tom Hiddleston is a great actor. I still love reaching for Shakespeare. Birding magazines are lovely. The music artist Halsey is a good chunk of my evening.

What about y’all?

Remote

REMOTE ~ 5.21.18

Guess you would have seen with last blog entry, several pills caught my eye. Feeling a bit more… tempted? Felt weaker? Wanted an ending, even if not a great one? Remembered some times that a drink could take the edge off that, or a ton could seal the deal.

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Regardless, it’s obvious I’m off. More than usual. When I am, and I reckon anyone with MH issues, do be careful what you watch.

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Patrick Melrose messed me up today… badly. I knew what I was getting into, but it catapulted me right back to younger years, and it was a doozy. I had to do some deep breathing and take a PRN. But I survived… so far.

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Tucked Away

TUCKED AWAY ~ 5.18.18

Don’t most relationships (of any kind) have their ups and downs? Moments we want to hold onto; moments we would prefer to forget?

Sometimes, in writing these blog entries and describing things from a certain point of view, or when I’m in the midst of an episode, it can appear confusing as to how I feel/felt about my loved ones. (Believe me, it’s worse inside my head.) Do you really even have to be Bipolar to understand to some degree what I’m saying? I think so, if people are honest.

Last night’s entry mentioned difficulties with my mom and dad. My mom admits to compartmentalizing periods of her life that caused her pain. They’re tucked away so she doesn’t feel those emotions. Here’s the thing, I was around during those times, so I’m kinda put away on difficult to reach, dusty shelves, as well. It has made for a challenging relationship with her, and I do not agree with her keeping me in the house that she did with my step-father. She knows this. I’m not telling you a secret. But today I wanted to take a minute to say that she has helped me in my life and loved me in the way that she uniquely loves. She’s helped me through back surgeries and a horrible first failure of a marriage. She helped me raise my son when his father left and I was working 60 hour weeks. And we continue to get to know one another in efforts to become closer. We can laugh together, too.

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Now my dad. That’s a mess. I can’t describe that right now. Not well, anyway. Problem is, I thought he was one thing, and I learned some disturbing things last year that I still don’t know how to process. Until last year, even though he died when I was 15, I felt he was at the core of molding who I have become. Maybe he still is, but with the things I discovered, I don’t know what that says about me. I’m not trying to be ambiguous here. I’m actually going to begin counseling next week to try to sort some of this because it has really screwed with my head. As I do, I’ll share more. For now, I’ll say that I loved playing catch and football with him, and he taught me to play Spades and kick butt at it.

I’m thankful I have my husband and son. I’ll share more about this journey as it unfolds. Thanks to you all, as always. xo