I Need Help

I NEED HELP ~ 5.10.18

So, I’m going to follow the advice I give others and be vulnerable here.


I’m in need of encouragement from people I’ve met through my blog, as well as family and friends. I’m depressed.


It’s bad. I’ve tried to find upbeat moments and days, and I have indeed found some. This has been an almost insurmountable feat, however. I am apathetic, totally flat. Usual things that bring me happiness, no interest. Wanting to be awake – psssh, yeah right! Having to push myself hard to go outside. Can’t settle but don’t want to move. Just have that feeling I always do when I’m bad.

I want to go home.

Where is your home? Is it the apartment or house in which you now live, or more of a fantasy? Something from a fairy tale, perhaps?

30 thoughts on “I Need Help

  1. My “Home” is at the beach in Santa Cruz California. Arizona will NEVER be my home.
    Actually Jen, the Bible says this world is not our home, this world is just a passing time.

    I am so sorry to hear you aren’t feeling well.
    You have been such an inspiration to me.

    I remember when you posted on your Blog, the numbers of people who had seen your Blog…it was thousands ! Just think Jen, you have encouraged and inspired THOUSANDS of people .

    Depression is so ugly, I am sorry you are struggling right now

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hello Friend. I agree with you that this is not our eternal home. However, it would be wrong to assume that God does not want us to live comfortably in this life, because he wants us to. Have you taken the matter to God in prayer? Have you sincerely asked for his help? At this point in time, I suggest that you ask for the gift of the holy spirit.

        The bible says in Galatians 5:22 ” But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness”. With the holy spirit in our lives, the presence of joy, peace and other good feelings should provide some relief from depression.

        I would also recommend that you fast. Fasting is a way to humble yourself before God, and during this time, God is always listening close.
        The bible says in Ezra 8:21-23 ” There, by the Ahava Canal, I proclaimed a fast, so that we might humble ourselves before our God and ask him for a safe journey for us and our children, with all our possessions. I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to protect us from enemies on the road, because we had told the king, “The gracious hand of our God is on everyone who looks to him, but his great anger is against all who forsake him. So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer”

        There are four types of fasting that I know of
        1) The abstinence fast: you need to find something that you absolutely cannot live without, and fast from it as a way to call God’s attention. Some people do this thing where they avoid coffee for a week, and this is a form of fasting.

        2) The Daniel fast: during this fasting type, you only eat fruit and vegetables and drink water. You do not eat any cooked food.

        3) The water fast: this fasting type entails just drinking water. No food, no fruits, no vegetables, nothing but water.

        4) The total fast: during this fasting type, you cannot eat or drink anything, not even water.

        You should find a timing that is comfortable for you, and a fasting type that works for you. You can establish a timeline during which you will do this fasting based on whatever works for you. During fasting, make sure that you have increased prayer sessions. Whenever you feel hungry, you can use those moments as an opportunity to pray and make your requests known to God.

        I hope this helps. Have a blessed day and God bless you.


  2. Sorry you are down. I’ve been in a funk for a bit myself. Wish I had an answer for home, but my mind is blank right now. I have faith that things will turn upward in time for both of us. ((((HUGS)))) and much empathy until it does.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Focus on getting on day by day – hour by hour if you must – remember this too shall pass you just have to give your brain time to cycle back to better – It’s working hard to make you feel better. It’s okay to take it easy if you must. Home is a random park I encountered in Spain. It’s the place I let it all out and allow myself to be okay or not okay without guilt. Stay strong

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I am just coming back from the hole as I call my depression because it IS a lot like being in the hole of a prison to me. Since I can’t take meds, I have to be really careful when I’m thrown in the hole because I really want to make it back. When I am at the worst is when I really have to reach out. Even if it’s just to one person just to let someone know that it’s happening. I have a safety net set up with people I trust and when I reach out, they check on me. I’m very lucky with that. I am also a firm believer in living in the moment and the right now because really it is all that I have. Even when I don’t want to live and every breath is utterly exhausting, I close my eyes and breathe through moment by moment and I don’t push myself at all. It takes every ounce of energy to stay alive sometimes and I have to accept it. I have a little mantra that I recite to myself in the darkest moments. I say to myself outloud “Julz, your head is out to kill your ass”. I say it over and over until I start to see that it’s actually true. Once I realize this truth, I find myself begin to question why and then I begin to debate my own brain. I ask it something like, “What reason do you have for wanting me to die”? If I start hearing nonsense like that I am worthless, crazy, defective and so on, usually it means that it’s making no sense and can’t be valid. I suppose in a sense, I am conditioning or training my mind to fight back and question itself. It’s a useful tool for sure. I also read a lot and research bipolar disorder during depression. The more I read, the more I tell myself that cycles change and mine will too. I talk a lot especially if I am stuck. I know that sometimes I fight for my life and so I will talk and I won’t stop until I am passed the emergency moments. My old man and I will talk all night long if needed and it helps. It’s not easy to find what works. Yay for you because being vulnerable and hanging your butt out in the air is admirable in my world!!! I’m over here in my little crappy house in Michigan giving you props and respect!!! We must all keep ourselves and eachother lifted because we are all amazing in our own right!!!

    Liked by 1 person

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