HOW I FEEL ~ 6.15.18
Having an extremely rough time of it. I feel quite alone. I did want to check in and share that simply because this blog is supposed to relay the ups and downs of Bipolar. I feel alone, abandoned, ignored, without any value, and as though I’ve nothing to contribute. I know the facts are this is not true, but I still *feel* these emotions just now. Take care of yourselves, folks. ✌
TWO HOURS LATER –
Trying to fight back against this depression and the intrusive, harmful thoughts. I had said earlier that I was going to take a break from talking and an online presence, but I don’t need to isolate – whether online or in day to day living. Tomorrow, the family is going to take my husband out to eat for Father’s Day. I’m going to try to get to an evening church service on Sunday night, and set up something on MeetUp. I appreciate any support. I’m trying.
Rough day. Physically hurting and feeling very down on myself. More of things I wouldn’t say to others but am okay saying to myself, putting myself down. Depression and other mental illnesses lie and manipulate. I know that as a fact, just like reading from a textbook. Today, however, I don’t *feel* it. These days drain the energy, to be sure. Be good to yourselves.
Yesterday afternoon and evening were great.
Today, I am so depressed, I won’t even get up to make myself a meal. I’m mad at Bipolar and mad at chronic, physical pain.