Sever

Looking through old photos.

Dreadful, miserable, intolerable, draining, exhausting, depleting, frightening, life-sucking.

All of these words describe my Bipolar occurrences and my chronic illness/pain issues.

What else do these words describe? Reactions to me when I seek help. What’s worse, I experience this in my own home.

Yes, I’m sure I become a lot to listen to because there’s a lot going on; and honestly, I wouldn’t want to listen to me, either. However, I would like to think I would respond on some sort of meaningful level rather than receive a quick platitude and then watch the person I’m talking to go right back to looking at that phone.

I know I would behave differently than what I receive sometimes because I help my son with his issues of Bipolar and anxiety. Yes, he can be a lot. It can be hard, but it’s just what you do.

I don’t get why…..

I guess I don’t even know what else to say.

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I will sign off and look at faded, slightly torn photos and wonder if eventually they will tear and sever in two.

8 thoughts on “Sever

  1. Oh Jen ! Why is it that the very people who are “supposed’ to be caring and watching out for us, tend to ignore he very essence of our pain ? I don’t know why ? Are they afraid that they might get sucked into the vortex that is out illness ? Or has the world become so self absorbed ? I wish I knew . You are not alone

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jen,
    I’ve got to say I’ve experience both ends of the spectrum in family/friends supporting me in my life over the years. I’ve got to be honest 2 of my 3 sisters, and especially the one closest in age to me NEVER gave up on me even when I was at the worst in extremes of depression and mania/psychosis.
    I pushed them away at times and they pulled back and let the police and healthcare professionals deal with me.
    I preferred it at various times in my bipolar…”journey” is not the right word…It makes it sound like some grand adventure. “Bipolar Hell”? Is at times maybe more accurate? But I guess what I will call it is my bipolar “Life”

    Anyway, this comment is rambling as I’ve been up all night watching the last two seasons of Game of Thrones. I have only the final episode to go after binge watching Seasons 1-7 from Christmas until today.

    I hope and pray you feel some love and support when you are hurting both physically and emotionally. I can’t say I know how you feel, as only you have experienced your levels of physical pain. While many of us have the diagnosis “bipolar disorder” no one can say they’ve walked in your shoes.

    I will end by sharing a passage I found on a tile, no idea where it came from or who originally wrote it. I gave to a man I loved and still consider a good friend –

    “Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.

    Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead.

    Just walk beside me, and be my friend.”

    Be well this day my friend…💜((((HUGS))))💜

    Liked by 1 person

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