Not Even One

I’m so lonely. I’ve been in this quaint, picturesque, small town for almost three years now.

I do not have one friend.

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It’s not as if in the area back where we lived most of our lives I had dozens of friends I went out with, but I certainly had more than where I am now.

With my physical limitations, being a caretaker to my mom, a parent to a Bipolar teen and wife of a hospice chaplain, I cannot make plans and confidently, consistently meet penciled in dates because I hurt so badly one way or another. Back home, if I had to cancel, the people around me knew me and the situations well enough and understood. We just rescheduled. I don’t have that luxury here. I am just so, so lonely. Like crying buckets of tears alone kind of lonely, and I’ve no clue how to better my situation.

Hope you guys are doing well. Thanks for being part of the #bipolaruninvitedblog family. Take care of yourselves and each other when and how you’re able. ✌❤🌹

10 thoughts on “Not Even One

  1. My town is not pretty, has no quaint Old Town , downtown. It is one ugly Strip Mall after another along a dirty dusty road. Parking lots are not paved, just pot hole filled areas of dirt broken glass and holes .

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I will be praying that a solution to your friend problem is answered, Jen. Do you have a church where you can go to a women’s group or maybe a support group for people with chronic pain? Just throwing ideas out there. Take care.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have lived many years in a town without having a friend I could call for coffee. Illness is very isolating. Loneliness is a human experience we all share at some point in our lives. How strange to have all these lonely people sitting in their houses, each a possible solution to the others problem…
    I have lost many friends through my episodes of withdrawal and my unreliability. Now I avoid making plans and go for a more spontaneous approach, if I am having a good day I will try to visit or be around whoever is available, and I have told people always invite me, but don’t take it personal if I can’t make it.
    I don’t know your situation, but at my loneliest I found sitting in a cafe or the library, especially going at the same time or day made me feel a part of things and I started to build some surface connections. Sometimes just your barista remembering how you like your coffee and asking how your mother is can be enough to get through the despair. Still, I hope a good friend comes into your life soon, it’s amazing how much one person can open up your world.
    I hope you can feel a little less lonely knowing there are people reading your words and therefore connecting with you in a small but not insignificant way. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I can very much relate. I have two teenagers, and one of them has bipolar, so for a long time until they got old enough to take care of themselves, it was all on me. It is good to know that there are other people on the internet that you can reach out to even when you can’t leave your house. And as the poster above says, hopefully you can get out, even for a little while each day.

    Liked by 1 person

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