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4.18.19 blog entry ~ Back Home

So, I’m feeling some better. I have a bit more energy, and I feel…well, I almost feel…like things are more manageable. That is definitely not something I believed a day or two ago. I guess going to the hospital with symptoms mirroring heart issues and being admitted to the hospital, coupled with the likes of nitro and potassium, would rock me to my core. My own dad died of his third heart attack at the age of 44, after all. I’m 42. And his dad died of the same issue at age 47. So, I went, I saw, and was stuck with tons of needles, underwent many tests, and lived to tell the tale. My heart is healthy. I’m stunned. Based on family history and medications alone, never mind our poor diet since I’m not able to cook all the time. But hey, a win is a win!

healthy-heart

 

I’m home now, but I am still experiencing the same pain. That part makes me angry.

I’m tired of physical and mental ailments. “Sick and Tired” – perfect description. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, I suppose.

A friend told me I’m an inspiration to her because, “You keep going, love.” Eh. To which I replied that I just continue breathing because of these sorts of invisible life support machines that won’t let me go. A large part of me still believes that, but I’m starting to come back round and count my blessings. Tonight, I even enjoyed watching and smelling rain and freshly cut grass. That was a nice Reset Button, if you will. I’ve been listening to my favorite playlists via Amazon Music – performers such as Halsey, Bruce Springsteen and Billie Eilish, and watching whatculture on youtube. I just love that channel with its discussion of films, comic books and gaming. And heck, I’m writing this, and I’ve chosen a new book to read. Those are good indicators of my better moods. Anything like that, as well as creating craft décor and reading/writing poetry are significant and usually mean good things, even if my poetry reads as “dark.”

Anyway, I’m managing. How are you guys? Anything new? Anything you need or want to share?

Take care of yourself, and when you can, each other.

 

(photo credit: guysandgoodhealth)

9 thoughts on “Back Home

  1. Happy to hear things a looking up, if only by tiny glances upwards. Costochondritis I believe was the diagnosis they gave you – sucks to be sure, it just hurts! Heart is healthy is a huge win! I know you doubted that was the case with your family history.

    I’m still battling physical crap as well. I saw my chiropractor yesterday and see family doc today. I don’t expect either will cure what ails me…obesity is something I alone can fix, it is just very very difficult for me. Arthritis – again, where I have it, not fixable. The intermittent hand numbness is annoying, however I’m thankful it is not constant. Speaking of, gotta end here before I drop my phone, damned numbness…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yep, arthritis makes it extremely difficult to lose weight. Even if you change your diet, exercise is still necessary for a healthy life, which is why I plan to join a health center here in town that has an indoor warm exercise/swimming pool.

      Like

  2. I am glad you went to the hospital ! That might sound odd….. but at least now you know you have a healthy heart,and that spooky lingering fear that you might die of a heart attack can be put aside ….Now on to the next issues at hand. It sounds like you are at least getting a handle on things ! Good for you ! !! ! !

    Liked by 1 person

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