Hey, guys. How are we? Holidays can be full of varying emotions. Everyone make it through okay? Anyone need to talk?
I messed up. I did a lot of physical household chores, and then computer help for my mom, stuff like that. Did this Friday and Saturday. I was feeling hypomanic, so I took advantage of the energy and got stuff done, but Sunday morning, I couldn’t attend Easter services, and that bummed me. I was physically hurting too much, and in the three days prior, combined total I had four hours sleep. However, we watched The Passion of the Christ at home, and I sobbed. We prayed. I managed to make Easter lunch – pasta. Lol.
Today, I’m trying not to fall into full-on dysphoric mania. I’ve been quite close, because I feel so much rage and want to smash something. Therefore, I purposefully tried slowing myself down with calming strategies and PRN anxiety meds. I’m pleased to report everyone in my home still has their heads intact. Yay for small miracles.
I will mention, I tried connecting with my supposed best friend of years and my sister, and neither replied. Again. Just give up, Jen! They didn’t care when I was in the hospital, or when I sent them images of my son’s graduation photos, which hurt me dearly. (Especially the latter.) I’ve tried so many times, but they flat ignore me. I want to send them each a message. However, I do not want to send something in this mood and possibly later regret it. So, I’ll reassess later. Maybe have a friend read it before I send it. Sometimes though, I feel like this is the mood in which I’m most honest and not trying to sugarcoat things and make the necessary excuses for them.
So yeah, I had a lovely Easter with my family, and I even went to a shop in town on Saturday and picked up a few comics on sale and talked to the owners about the SA Comic Con. That was really cool.
But I will have to eventually send the two ladies I was talking about a letter listing my hurt feelings but offering forgiveness and wishing well being, just so that I can gain the closure I need. Closure and the act of letting go can be cathartic.
Maybe I could write the letters and not send them.
Overall, I’m good.
Off subject, you guys gonna see Avengers Endgame this weekend?
I’ve only seen , maybe the first 2 Avengers movies . That’s that rich Tony guy…right ? LOL! My sister loves the films and is a big fan.
My Easter….was a BBQ at my daughters. It was difficult for me to feel engaged. My daughter kept going into her room and playing with her phone. I tried to go into her room and engage in conversation,but she was wrapped up with her FB on the phone, plus it hurt my back to sit on the side of her bed.
So, I went back to the front room and just sat there by myself .
Later we had a lot of food, I ate some ribs and some chicken wings and roasted veggies.
I went home early because I am feeling very disconnected and blunted.
I ended up staying awake until 4 AM this mornng. I slept until 4 this afternoon !
I did force myself to make an eggplant lasagna. It’svery labor intensive .
Gave some to my neighbor and my granddaughter will come get some tomorrow.
I called my new friend and made arrangements for breakfast onThursday, after breakfast I’ll go have a pedicure.
Easter was very quiet for us this year. It seems that since my Aunt passed that holidays are more disjointed. We used to all gather at her house for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Now we have a small gathering at my Mom’s house, lately my brother has been cooking and we would all bring in a dish or dessert.
I guess these are the things that happen when your parents are in their 80’s as Mom is currently 89. So I guess what is getting to me is seeing how much Mom has aged and I’m worried about how much longer I will have her.
So although my husband and I had a nice Italian meal for Easter, I was thinking about the family in Connecticut. We live 2 hours away in Rhode Island and we don’t always get together with my family anymore. Its ok, I put it in God’s hands because I’m thankful for the time I still have her for.
I’ve only seen , maybe the first 2 Avengers movies . That’s that rich Tony guy…right ? LOL! My sister loves the films and is a big fan.
My Easter….was a BBQ at my daughters. It was difficult for me to feel engaged. My daughter kept going into her room and playing with her phone. I tried to go into her room and engage in conversation,but she was wrapped up with her FB on the phone, plus it hurt my back to sit on the side of her bed.
So, I went back to the front room and just sat there by myself .
Later we had a lot of food, I ate some ribs and some chicken wings and roasted veggies.
I went home early because I am feeling very disconnected and blunted.
I ended up staying awake until 4 AM this mornng. I slept until 4 this afternoon !
I did force myself to make an eggplant lasagna. It’svery labor intensive .
Gave some to my neighbor and my granddaughter will come get some tomorrow.
I called my new friend and made arrangements for breakfast onThursday, after breakfast I’ll go have a pedicure.
Oh my….I’m chatty tonight
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Thanks as always, D. So sorry the move to AZ hasn’t worked out well. 😕💛
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Easter was very quiet for us this year. It seems that since my Aunt passed that holidays are more disjointed. We used to all gather at her house for Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter. Now we have a small gathering at my Mom’s house, lately my brother has been cooking and we would all bring in a dish or dessert.
I guess these are the things that happen when your parents are in their 80’s as Mom is currently 89. So I guess what is getting to me is seeing how much Mom has aged and I’m worried about how much longer I will have her.
So although my husband and I had a nice Italian meal for Easter, I was thinking about the family in Connecticut. We live 2 hours away in Rhode Island and we don’t always get together with my family anymore. Its ok, I put it in God’s hands because I’m thankful for the time I still have her for.
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Thank you for sharing. 💛
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You have such a positive attitude despite so much going on in your life.
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