Sometimes Music Says It Best

Okay, so the blasted article submission I’ve been busting my butt on was denied. Again. Received some helpful feedback, but I do wish I had received it the first time it was handed back to me. It would have been tremendously helpful. I was told that I have a charming writing style that unfortunately doesn’t fit their tone. Right now, I’m just going to move on and write something else. Something with no goal of publication anywhere in particular; just something that is mine and that makes me proud and happy. Write my way on out of here. Away from financial woes, physical pain, fear, anxiety, and a bunch of other BS that comes with Bipolar.

Check out In The End (Mellen Gi Remix) [feat. Fleurie] by Tommee Profitt feat. Fleurie on Amazon Music
https://music.amazon.com/albums/B07PQ1P5NC?trackAsin=B07PMXDSJ8&ref=dm_sh_GCpSzNveEkWyiyuZtecVWsoqX

 

Anyway, sometimes music says it best. I’m glad for that because I cannot allow myself to sink lower right now. If I do, I won’t get back up for a while, and I don’t have that time to spare. Between the pain and what I logically know only feels like temporary failure, I just cannot — CANNOT — allow myself to sink lower.

Check out Spectacular Now [Explicit] by G-Eazy on Amazon Music
https://music.amazon.com/albums/B07TDDGFPR?trackAsin=B07TBBYG83&ref=dm_sh_x16EmArgiooVsQJHx7yI9XIbg

 

 

Continuing To Try

6.25.19 blog entry

Just a quick note, I’m hurting everywhere. Pain is so, so intense I’ve considered the ER. Fibro flare-up. Arthritis flare-up. Thus, I’m not sleeping, which makes things worse, and I hurt more. So, I’m anxious and depressed about all of the above. However, I looked over the editorial comments I was given for an article I submitted to an online publication last week, and though I am scared shitless to fail again, I changed some things and resubmitted. So, at least I tried, and I know I did the right thing because my son is super proud of me for doing so.

faith

Anyway, as I said, brief tonight, but I just wanted to say I’ve not given up on any front, and I continue to try. Good luck to all you fine folks as well. πŸŒ±βœŒπŸ€

(πŸ“Έ:allaboutseniors.org)

White Noise, Any Noise

6.23.19 blog entry

Question – Do those of you with Bipolar, Anxiety, Depression and the like have a hard time with a sleeping routine?

I absolutely cannot lie in the dark minus music, nature’s sounds, rain sounds, white noise from the fan (even in winter) tv…you get the point. There must be some noise. For anyone asking why, it’s because I can’t just allow my mind to wander. My mind doesn’t dream of fairies, or Disney World, and what will happen in the next chapter of an engaging book I’m reading. No, my mind worries, and fears, and screams. No lie, that’s on a good day. So, I do whatever I can until I pass out.

white-noise-online

It’s not how the psychiatrist envisions the routine for me. It’s no, in bed by 10:30 and up at 6:30. That’s the only point my psychiatrist of almost a decade and I do not see eye to eye on, the sleep issue. I just can’t seem to sway him. Sometimes, experience (or struggle) with an issue defies what books say should work.

Anyway, I must have some noise. Some distraction.

What about you guys?

 

(πŸ“Έ: Google images)

Tryin’ But Ain’t Firin’

Hey, y’all. I’ve been trying to come up with something to write. I’m sorry. I just don’t have it in me. I’m tired. I just don’t have anything to say.

I woke this morning, mouth bleeding, because I had bitten my tongue in three places. I’m in extraordinary pain in hips, knees and back.

My son had a rough, emotional day, and when you have two Bipolars living together, that can be tricky. By his biological father and bullies/staff at school, for so long he was like a puppet with someone else pulling his strings. I’m so glad he finally cut those ties.

“What Happens When Someone With Bipolar Is A Caretaker For Two?” Coming soon to a screen near you.

Anyway, I’m tired. I know things will turn around. But damn. Hurry up. 😜✌

 

Take a Look at This Thought-Provoking Video by Luke Alexander

5.22.19 blog entry

I decided to share this. I think this post is quite thought-provoking. It’s about romanticizing mental illness on social media and where lines should be drawn. I do not agree with everything he says, but as I said, it got me thinking. I’m curious what you guys think, whether you have a Mental Illness or not.

I will call Trigger Warning for one part of this youtube post. The host himself tells you exactly when he begins discussing self-harm and suicide and what point to jump ahead to if you want to skip that part. It’s only a couple of minutes in a 14:19 minute youtube video.

Shows such as 13 Reasons Why, memes and drawings and art work about various MI are shown and discussed, in regards to what is self-expression vs. romanticizing things that are actually quite difficult. Luke Alexander, the host of the channel and this video, has been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, so he brings some understanding to the table immediately.

And let’s not forget, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Talk to one another. Reach out for help. Ask questions. We must eradicate mental health stigma and misunderstandings – I know I always say that, but it’s because it’s fact. Love to you all and take care.

 

(credit: YouTube video post: Luke Alexander channel)

(photos: Google Images)

Invisible Illness and Stigma

5.12.19 blog entry

So, as we know, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. I’ve been thinking about stigma. How to eradicate it. The answer must be imparting knowledge; teaching.

The area where I’ve seen the most ignorance across the board, and have personally experienced, is to do with medication. I hear that psych meds are poison and unnecessary. I have heard the following.

Just go outside.

Just lighten up.

Meditate.

Get in shape.

Granted, all of that helps, but Bipolar Disorder is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is a direct result from something wrong in your brain. If you have something wrong with an organ in your body, you treat it.

My own family has called me a pill-popper and told me I’m weak. Please. You do this for 20 years, and then talk to me about what is weakness and what is strength.

Invisible illnesses can sometimes be the most difficult to understand or grasp, I suppose. A person has an appendectomy and people bring them food for a week. A person goes through a depressive cycle and people might say stop moping, and they certainly don’t bring meals.

download

So, I will just wrap up by saying people with Bipolar, with mental illnesses, with invisible chronic illnesses, are incredibly strong and brave. We’re also empathetic because we know suffering. I assure you, if I could exercise my way right on out of this, if it was that easy, well…I wouldn’t even have a blog because I would be cured.

We are fighters.

We are creative.

We are dreamers.

We are helpers.

We are intelligent.

The emotional reactions – good and bad – that we have are multiplied by ten.

Through it all, we have careers, raise children, help others, and have the foresight to know to give our husbands our medications during a particularly bad week, so that we don’t swallow them all. That’s not weakness. That kind of strength requires a raw vulnerability. It’s not easy.

If you have someone in your life dealing with MI or any other invisible disease, just reach out and speak to them. Ask how they are, and tell them you want to understand more. I bet when they are able, they will help educate you.βœŒπŸ™πŸŽ—

 

(πŸ“Έ: kgun9)

Chipping Away at MH StigmaπŸŽ—

5.8.19 blog entry

What are some of the worst things you’ve heard or experienced that made you feel awful for having a chronic and/or mental illnesses? I’m interested to hear from people with diseases such as depression, anxiety, autism, bipolar and schizophrenia to name a few.

I mean, just check out this chart below. Certainly got my blood boiling.

Best-Practices-2-791x1024.png

I’ve experienced the misuse of terms.

“This weather is so Bipolar!”

“When she’s on her period, she’s mental.”

And don’t even get me going on people talking down to me about med use. People in my family even, for Pete’s sake.

May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Let’s try to educate ourselves and others, comfort and care for ourselves and each other, and try to chip away at the stigma of the ignorant. (Not stupid. Ignorant. Uneducated. Two different things.)