Social Anxiety and Bipolar Disorder YouTube Link

3.19.19 blog entry

I stumbled upon some things Hannah Blum has to say about Bipolar Disorder and Social Anxiety. Please take a quick 3.5 minutes to hear as she shares her experiences and stories. This is motivating, and I will definitely check out more on HealthyPlace.

 

Looking Up?

Hey, #bipolaruninvited Family!

I’ve been really bad since switching to Cymbalta. I switched due to my neurologist’s request, and my psychiatrist was okay with trying. All had to do with my Fibromyalgia. It was a bust. Really bad. So, i called my psychiatrist and am switching back to Lexapro. ASAP! Score one for the good guys!šŸ†

I got down pretty low but can tell I’m feeling some better. My son’s elation with being on track and field team and running so well is joyfully infectious.
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Also, I guess with money being tight, instead of curling up in a ball and hiding, it took me time, but IĀ  realized there are things I can do to help make a little extra money. So, if one cause of this depression (besides chemical) is being tight on money, for example, I’m feeling better because I have a plan of attack. Started out with a general plan/goals, then had to break it down almost like a family tree diagram and list what smaller steps will help me reach bigger goals.
Point is, I’m seeing a bit of the light at the end of the tunnel because I can now see how to work my way out of it, if that makes any sense.
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And my son is helping a lot, so that’s much appreciated. I guess all that to say, I have hope, and when I’m down in deep, dark, desolate pits, I don’t have hope.
I’m climbing out, just taking it slowly. šŸ’Ŗ
And how are y’all? Drop me a line. Take care of yourselves and each other. āœŒšŸ™šŸ’™

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Are you coming out of a period of Depression? Do you have any advice for acclimating to your surroundings and the people in your life? – The coming up for air, so to speak? What do you do then? –

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One thing I do, which may sound odd because during Depression people tend to “sleep” a lot. (It’s really just a sort of sleep. It’s not a healthy rest, and it’s often hiding away.) So ironically, when I’m significantly better, I sleep for about 12-15 hours, and sleep peacefully, absent the nightmares, and wake feeling so much better.
I also hydrate with water and juice.

You guys care to share anything?

7 27 18 blog entry

7.27.18 Blog Entry

One of the hardest things to do when I’m extremely depressed and experiencing anxiety attacks is…well…anything. So, today, when I wanted to hide under the cover (or drive to a hotel to sleep and cry) I managed to shower, put together a grocery list, made some quick, yummy pasta, and took care of a few bills. Also had a good talk with my son. This sounds like…well…not a lot, but when I’m this far down and pondering various methods of death, it is quite significant.

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Therefore, just like I tell my son (he too has Bipolar) I’m congratulating myself and calling it a win!

WAIT TO HEAR HOPE TO HELP

Wait to Hear ~ 6.24.18

One thing I’m discovering with having joined an online support group and writing this blog is the power of friendship and knowing you’re not alone. Unfortunately, with these mental illness issues, we lose every day people and friends, not just celebrities that are featured in the news.

I lost a dear friend a year or so back. One friend has been considering suicide, and another has just cut off online presence, which is strange for her and unnerving based on the last conversations we’ve had.

I wait to hear and hope to help.

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Have any of you been through this, and how were you able to offer support?

Treat yourselves well, guys.šŸ’–šŸ’›

(photo credit: R.I.T)

Letters to Ghosts

LETTERS TO GHOSTS ~ 6.24.18

So, I’ve resumed therapy and so far, I like the counselor. However, with my dad having passed away in ’92, digging into some stuff I’ve discovered this past year is proving draining and is most certainly affecting me. I feel poorly. Emotionally, I mean.

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(Awaiting therapy appointment)

Not even poorly, really. More like sad… distracted… frustrated… apathetic at times.

Physically, I’m still feeling some better overall, and that’s huge. I can do so much more – in helping run the household, as well as having fun evenings out.

Received a check from Social Security for back pay for student benefits, and the approval and timing is a blessing. God always comes through for me. For my family.

Anyway, next assignment, write a letter to Dad.

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Yikes.

Have any of you written to ghosts of the past?

How I Feel

HOW I FEEL ~ 6.15.18

Having an extremely rough time of it. I feel quite alone. I did want to check in and share that simply because this blog is supposed to relay the ups and downs of Bipolar. I feel alone, abandoned, ignored, without any value, and as though I’ve nothing to contribute. I know the facts are this is not true, but I still *feel* these emotions just now. Take care of yourselves, folks. āœŒ

TWO HOURS LATER –

Trying to fight back against this depression and the intrusive, harmful thoughts. I had said earlier that I was going to take a break from talking and an online presence, but I don’t need to isolate – whether online or in day to day living. Tomorrow, the family is going to take my husband out to eat for Father’s Day. I’m going to try to get to an evening church service on Sunday night, and set up something on MeetUp. I appreciate any support. I’m trying.