14 Reasons Why I’m Not Freaking

So…yucky news. My husband is being laid-off, end of July. So, the search is on for positions here where we now live, and the company (nationwide) is searching out relocation options. So far there have been two pop up on the radar.

blog stress 1

I do love it here. The spacious house. The birds. The deer. The large yard. The river. The slower-paced community. However, we will have to make difficult decisions soon. Stay here and gamble, hoping he finds a new job ASAP, or accept one of the relocation offers. We just moved here last year.It would be the second move in a year’s time. Additionally, what about my mother who lives with us now. She can hardly walk after the surgeries and is about as good as she’s going to get physically speaking. A senior community or assisted living might be in her future. Her near future. Additionally, it would most likely be best that I put my two upcoming operations on hold for now.

So, how the heck am I staying calm even though I’m a very emotional and anxious creature?

blog stress 2

  1. Prayer and trust in Jesus – we have been here before and He took care of us.
  2. Listening to soothing music and white-noise type sounds.
  3. Going to make an appointment with my therapist.
  4. Finding silver linings, such as my son having more kids to hang out with (this is mostly a retirement community and that’s been rough on him).
  5. Not allowing myself to sleep during the days and give in to what could easily become depression.
  6. Distraction (mostly artsy type stuffs).
  7. Mindfulness, which includes prayer.
  8. Movement…just continuing to move by doing things like stretching exercises.
  9. Planning – looking at the relocation cities and what they “have to offer” such as neighborhoods, rent, cost of living…getting some answers instead of wondering about everything, which would spike that anxiety. I like having a Plan B.
  10. I have good friends who listen and sometimes offer advice.
  11. Perspective. None of us is dead, you know?
  12. Breathing exercises.
  13. Not borrowing trouble. I will have to face it when it is time anyway. No need to waste energy now.
  14. I do have PRN medication for anxiety if needed, but not so far.

I am sure I have forgotten some things, or will “employ” more as I go, but that is what is helping now. I feel pretty stable. I’m hanging in there.

 

blog stress 4

I have rather a good feeling about it just now. We shall see what is in store.

Father’s Day…No Snazzy Title

So today… Yeah, today was Father’s Day. Emotional.

20161120_235554.png

I don’t necessarily think that the heightened, amplified emotions that come with Bipolar make this day any better, or any worse. Whatever your relationship with your father is indeed your unique relationship, or lack thereof.

So with a confused mind and fickle heart, I wish my father, passed away some 25 years or so, a remembrance on this Father’s Day.

FB_IMG_1495134199948

Dad, stepmom, sisters

 

 

 

72 Hours

Day Three of Depression, worsening, sinking fast. Aching to find stability. What will I do?

First, I won’t stay down. I will get up, no matter how painful. I always have, no matter the emotional and physical toll. No matter the length of time. No matter how t.i.r.e.d.

do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night

 

 

So, right now, this is what I’m doing. Please note, I am not doing these things because I feel like they will help. Depression is deceitful. It is a liar. I feel like shrugging shoulders and curling into a ball to sleep.

IMG_20170323_012943

Here’s what’s key for me. I “feel” these emotions. However, I have to rely on my memory, logic and rationale. Must do the things I know will help me work through the depression. That requires a lot of strength. I’m fighting what the depression is telling me, while I agree and believe what it’s saying. That’s tricky, folks! I do believe, however, people with Bipolar Disorder are strong, intelligent and fighters.

So, I go outside. I notice the various green shades of trees, hear the birds sing, πŸ¦†πŸ¦πŸ€ watch the squirrels run for their lives (previously mentioned birds chasing them from nesting areas), and take in floral smells. 🌻🌹 Basically, a grounding-type walk. Staying in the present. Noticing beauty. Involving all of my senses, much like cooking, or creating art. I snuggle with my cat. I watch an episode of Chrisley Knows Best – can’t watch it without laughing. I listen to audiobooks, a different voice reading to me instead of hearing my voice. I listen to music. 🎡🎧🎢 I do some stretches and PT. I pray, often, in fact, during those walks that I mentioned. πŸ™πŸ™ I use my diffuser with essential oils – orange, citrus, cinnamon and peppermint are my favs for depressed bouts. Colouring, I do some. Super important, I reach out to family and friends. Support is key. Interaction of any kind gets you outside your head, gets you out of your own way.

IMG_20170323_014533

What happens is simple. I occupy myself until the winter in my head becomes spring. I distract myself while rain gives way to sunshine. I learn while seeds in mud blossom into flowers. Β Sometimes, these techniques, and many more, simply hang out with me until I feel better. More often than not, they not only help me in the immediate moment, they actually bring about smiles and beauty, all the while helping climb out of depression’s black hole. Is it as simple as – do steps 1, 2, 3 and poof! I’m better? No. But it helps me make it one day at a time.

2fe8ae2190513b8303209651c4b46fbe

 

What helps You? Would you care to share? ✌✌✌