Father’s Day…No Snazzy Title

So today… Yeah, today was Father’s Day. Emotional.

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I don’t necessarily think that the heightened, amplified emotions that come with Bipolar make this day any better, or any worse. Whatever your relationship with your father is indeed your unique relationship, or lack thereof.

So with a confused mind and fickle heart, I wish my father, passed away some 25 years or so, a remembrance on this Father’s Day.

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Dad, stepmom, sisters

 

 

 

72 Hours

Day Three of Depression, worsening, sinking fast. Aching to find stability. What will I do?

First, I won’t stay down. I will get up, no matter how painful. I always have, no matter the emotional and physical toll. No matter the length of time. No matter how t.i.r.e.d.

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So, right now, this is what I’m doing. Please note, I am not doing these things because I feel like they will help. Depression is deceitful. It is a liar. I feel like shrugging shoulders and curling into a ball to sleep.

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Here’s what’s key for me. I “feel” these emotions. However, I have to rely on my memory, logic and rationale. Must do the things I know will help me work through the depression. That requires a lot of strength. I’m fighting what the depression is telling me, while I agree and believe what it’s saying. That’s tricky, folks! I do believe, however, people with Bipolar Disorder are strong, intelligent and fighters.

So, I go outside. I notice the various green shades of trees, hear the birds sing, πŸ¦†πŸ¦πŸ€ watch the squirrels run for their lives (previously mentioned birds chasing them from nesting areas), and take in floral smells. 🌻🌹 Basically, a grounding-type walk. Staying in the present. Noticing beauty. Involving all of my senses, much like cooking, or creating art. I snuggle with my cat. I watch an episode of Chrisley Knows Best – can’t watch it without laughing. I listen to audiobooks, a different voice reading to me instead of hearing my voice. I listen to music. 🎡🎧🎢 I do some stretches and PT. I pray, often, in fact, during those walks that I mentioned. πŸ™πŸ™ I use my diffuser with essential oils – orange, citrus, cinnamon and peppermint are my favs for depressed bouts. Colouring, I do some. Super important, I reach out to family and friends. Support is key. Interaction of any kind gets you outside your head, gets you out of your own way.

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What happens is simple. I occupy myself until the winter in my head becomes spring. I distract myself while rain gives way to sunshine. I learn while seeds in mud blossom into flowers. Β Sometimes, these techniques, and many more, simply hang out with me until I feel better. More often than not, they not only help me in the immediate moment, they actually bring about smiles and beauty, all the while helping climb out of depression’s black hole. Is it as simple as – do steps 1, 2, 3 and poof! I’m better? No. But it helps me make it one day at a time.

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What helps You? Would you care to share? ✌✌✌