Hey Houston

Hey, Houston ~ 8.13.18

I’ve had a few steroid injections as of late, and as ever, troubles followed.

“Houston, We Have a Problem.”

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Not sleeping. Acting out of character. Not paying enough attention to finances.

At least so far it’s been a “giddy” euphoric mania, not dysphoric and rageful.

Only good thing is that I’ve been a lot more artistic, especially with writing. Those things tend to become dulled for those of us with this disease and the taking of mood stabilizers.

I can’t let it go on too much longer or become more intense. If that happens, I could easily be introduced to a behavioral hospital in San Antonio for the first time. I’d prefer not. Sigh.

At least, I recognize it. I’ve got family and friends helping me keep in check. It’s a trade-off. No steroid injections, the more intense the physical pain.

I could say the dilemma is unfair as hell, but I digress. Others are going through worse, and I knew this was a gamble. Still sucks, though.

Gamble-Responsibly

Take care of yourselves and others, guys. ✌💛🙏

Margot Kidder – What Is Known

MARGOT KIDDER, WHAT IS KNOWN ~ 5.14.18

I took a hit today, and the mental health community took a blow.

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As I write down these few thoughts late on Monday night, May 14, 2018, doctors and family officially say Margot Kidder’s cause of death is unknown.

 

Here are things we do know.

We know she was THE Lois Lane. Huge thanks to her for that alone.

When later in life she had a manic breakdown and her Bipolar Disorder became known to any and everyone, she learned what she could about her “disorder” (that’s bulls**t, it’s a disease, but I digress) and how to go about feeling better.

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What is known is that she became an advocate for those around her with mental health issues, particularly Bipolar, and it paved the way to help those of us also unfortunately suffering with Bipolar, like myself and my son.

What is known is that her work will live on, and that I owe her thanks, just as I did with Carrie Fisher.

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What is known is the medication that most of us have to take to survive this cruel disorder is a difficult journey, to say the very least. From the decision to trying meds and surviving side effects, adverse reactions, or hospitalizations, all the way to finding the right combo. (I would not even dare tell you how many meds I have to take to survive. It’s in the double digits. That includes supplements, as well. So many people say it doesn’t have to be that way, and if you believe that, or better yet you live it, I’m glad you’re not faced with the whole ugly mess.) It is incredible to note that Margot had two extremely public breakdowns, one of which included her disappearance for four days and an attempted rape. In 2007, she said she hadn’t had a manic episode in 11 years thanks to orthomolecular treatment (nutritional supplementation), which most quality specialists who care for their patients will discuss with him/her and try if it seems one is a good candidate. (I’m on Depakote, by the way. #TeamJen 😣)

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What is known is that Ms. Kidder was active in the women’s movement, as well as the peace movement. Whether you’re a #metoo believer or not, support the #Dreamers or any other work she did, the attention she drew, the things she said, the slander thrown at her, all of that helped you. Helped us.

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Never forget who came before us and the work they did so that we can voice our opinions.

Look, Bipolar didn’t kill her, but this I can say with zero doubt; this I know. It certainly did not help. There is evidence that each time we experience Bipolar episodes, gray matter is destroyed. Meds, well we talked about that. ECT treatments. 😧

What I want to say is, thank you, Margot Kidder, for all you did to help me as a woman with Bipolar Disorder in 2018.

I once read that you said the scene in the first Superman movie when you and The Man of Steel flew high above the gorgeous, lit city, it was a close depiction to what it feels like flying high in a manic episode.

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I know that you’re flying and free now, and I’m so happy there won’t be a crash at the end of this one.