Where I’ve Been

8.24.19 blog entry

Where I’ve Been… ill & injured, supporting my mom during her hospitalization and after, helping my son learn to market some of his photos and helping him obtain his driver’s license, watching my poor & lovely husband be overworked, worried about finances, exhausted… and that’s just a quick view/summary of where I’ve been.

This blog is supposed to chronicle highs and lows of dealing with Bipolar (and other chronic illnesses). So, that’s what I’m here to do, but I don’t have anything witty to add, or something super insightful. Trying to do things to cheer myself up or inspire myself, but I’m coming up with a big fat zero. Wait… that should be capitalized for full effect. Big Fat Zero.

I’m just tired and hurting. Gonna go do some deep breathing and take a muscle relaxant. Hope y’all are well. Drop a line. ✌

Nothing

11.11.18 blog entry ~ Nothing

I got nothin’. Nothing really to say.

Preparing for my mom’s birthday, Thanksgiving and the holiday season. In quite a bit of physical pain. Have to go see a neurologist. Another specialist. I’m tired of them. I suppose, well I KNOW, I should be thankful that I have health insurance. So many don’t. Long ago, I heard someone say, “There will always be someone longing to experience your worst day.” I know that’s true. And hey, my son is doing well. My family is well. Hell, the cat is well. My friends are experiencing some struggles.

I think a lot of people experience medical and mental illnesses with more grace than I do. Many, many more. Way more grace. All I want to do sometimes is isolate, and that’s not because I don’t want to be around people; rather, I just want to feel free to feel like hell. I do not feel like I should do that in front of my family.

Anyway, I’m not bad off, but I’m not great. Living in the in between, as I just heard in a show last night called Picnic at Hanging Rock. Novel and movie before this Amazon series, yes. Australian folklore.

Anyway, one character mentioned to another that they need to live in the world of in between. Sounds exhausting to me, quite frankly.

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Anyway, I’m going to see the pain management specialist tomorrow. That will help a bit. We plan to see the latest version of The Grinch this week. The one with Benedict Cumberbatch. Do a little Christmas shopping, maybe.

Guess I had a little more than nothing, as it turned out.

Take care of yourselves and each other, guys. Love & Peace always. 💙✌🙏

Not Today

NOT TODAY ~ 8.9.18

So, I have read that some people with Bipolar, Depression and other mental health issues are in practice of applying makeup, making sure hair looks nice, using lovely scents of perfume and fragrant lotions (I don’t know where guys fit into this) often times feel better throughout the day and get more done. I’ve been trying it.

Some days it works.

Not today.

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I’m in a lot of physical pain, and quite frankly, it pisses me off!

Second thing, Margot Kidder committed suicide. Another person with Bipolar has committed suicide. Damn It!

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I’ll keep trying and let you know long term. Take care of yourselves and others. 💛🙏✌

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Ugh

I feel terrible, both emotionally and physically. I was supposed to receive some epidural pain injections today and could not make it to the facility and it is therefore postponed. And I’ve just hit my limit. I just feel done.

Anyway, this blog is supposed to show good, bad and ugly of bipolar, so here’s the ugly part.

Although it’s not just Bipolar – we’re throwing in physical pain as well. I’m just not digging life right now, folks.

Love & peace to you all. 💛✌