Cathartic, I Guess

October 25, 2018 Blog Entry ~

Just bawled for 20 mins.

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Sobbed for family lost. Wept due to worries about friends. Cried because of unrelenting physical pain. Then, just let loose because of everything already mentioned and so much more. I wailed. You know what? I actually feel better. Going to listen to my @Halsey mix playlist and sleep…I hope.

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Here’s to all of us who keep putting one foot in front of the other and try to do some good along the way. Share love.

#cryingisnotweak #cryingiscleansing #cathartic #endurance #strength #love #forgiveness #blessed #bipolaruninvitedblog @ Kerrville, Texas

Treating Others Feels Grand

Treating Others *Feels* Grand ~ 8.5.18

I woke in severe pain today. A little more than usual. One thing I can say that is good for both my physical and emotional pain is helping others, loving on others. Today, despite my pain, I took my mom and son to see a movie. Their smiles, jokes and laughs were quite worth the added discomfort.

Thank you, Lord, for our special time today.

You Are Not Alone

YOU ARE NOT ALONE ~ 7.14.18

One thing about mental illnesses vs physical (& visible) illnesses is the response and support I receive from friends, fellow church members and even family members.

Broke my foot, my support system and community rallied to provide meals for at least two weeks, which was much appreciated.

Down and depressed though, rarely have I received offers of the same kind of help.

I have been thinking, why is that? I’ve come up with two reasons, as far as my own experience goes.

1. People are uncomfortable around someone struggling with depression and/or anxiety. It’s just the truth.

2. I have not done a good job reaching out and asking for help. So why on earth would friends and family feel anything else besides uncomfortable?

Having pondered that, I’ve decided in the future I will try my very best to ask for help, and during my okay times, I’ll continue to try to share things about Bipolar with others.

I would like for there to be encouragement and support for those with illness, as well as their family and friends, on this site.

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I want people to know they are not alone.

Take His Hand

I think the hardest part of being a mom to a son, both of us with Bipolar Disorder, is the utter inability to take away his pain. All that pain I know has existed, currently resides and will strike in the future.

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So, I resign myself to knowing that holding his hand as he makes his way through is the best I can do. I hope he feels that love in my touch, and I thank the Lord that He is carrying my son through all he has faced and ever will encounter.