Margot Kidder – What Is Known

MARGOT KIDDER, WHAT IS KNOWN ~ 5.14.18

I took a hit today, and the mental health community took a blow.

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As I write down these few thoughts late on Monday night, May 14, 2018, doctors and family officially say Margot Kidder’s cause of death is unknown.

 

Here are things we do know.

We know she was THE Lois Lane. Huge thanks to her for that alone.

When later in life she had a manic breakdown and her Bipolar Disorder became known to any and everyone, she learned what she could about her “disorder” (that’s bulls**t, it’s a disease, but I digress) and how to go about feeling better.

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What is known is that she became an advocate for those around her with mental health issues, particularly Bipolar, and it paved the way to help those of us also unfortunately suffering with Bipolar, like myself and my son.

What is known is that her work will live on, and that I owe her thanks, just as I did with Carrie Fisher.

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What is known is the medication that most of us have to take to survive this cruel disorder is a difficult journey, to say the very least. From the decision to trying meds and surviving side effects, adverse reactions, or hospitalizations, all the way to finding the right combo. (I would not even dare tell you how many meds I have to take to survive. It’s in the double digits. That includes supplements, as well. So many people say it doesn’t have to be that way, and if you believe that, or better yet you live it, I’m glad you’re not faced with the whole ugly mess.) It is incredible to note that Margot had two extremely public breakdowns, one of which included her disappearance for four days and an attempted rape. In 2007, she said she hadn’t had a manic episode in 11 years thanks to orthomolecular treatment (nutritional supplementation), which most quality specialists who care for their patients will discuss with him/her and try if it seems one is a good candidate. (I’m on Depakote, by the way. #TeamJen 😣)

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What is known is that Ms. Kidder was active in the women’s movement, as well as the peace movement. Whether you’re a #metoo believer or not, support the #Dreamers or any other work she did, the attention she drew, the things she said, the slander thrown at her, all of that helped you. Helped us.

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Never forget who came before us and the work they did so that we can voice our opinions.

Look, Bipolar didn’t kill her, but this I can say with zero doubt; this I know. It certainly did not help. There is evidence that each time we experience Bipolar episodes, gray matter is destroyed. Meds, well we talked about that. ECT treatments. 😧

What I want to say is, thank you, Margot Kidder, for all you did to help me as a woman with Bipolar Disorder in 2018.

I once read that you said the scene in the first Superman movie when you and The Man of Steel flew high above the gorgeous, lit city, it was a close depiction to what it feels like flying high in a manic episode.

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I know that you’re flying and free now, and I’m so happy there won’t be a crash at the end of this one.

Compliance, Really? More Control Measures?

No. Absolutely not.

My opinion for myself and my welfare, as well as my son’s. I spoke to my 18 year old son, he was adamant with his opposition, as well as a friend of mine.

Compliance? I fear that equals control measures. Do I want to be tracked? Do I want to be tied to my doctor, insurance, Medicare and big pharma about my compliance? About suggested medication? No.

I welcome any thoughts, even polite debate. Polite though, please.

On Med Use

This is going to be a quick entry because even though so many people are against medication for mental illness, such as mine – Bipolar Disorder – my answer/choice is astonishingly simple.

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First, if you’ve taken medication for a mental health issue and then eventually were able to stop taking that medication because of therapy and herbal supplements, let’s say as an example, congratulations. Truly. If you’ve truly got it in check and aren’t hurting yourself or anyone else, I’m sincerely happy for you.

I’m not that person, though. I could say a lot of fancy stuff and throw statistics out there, but this is how utterly simple it is for me.

Without medication, I become manic and experience psychosis. So, while off meds here are a few things I’ve done in the past – tried to kill a woman who wasn’t there (hallucination), tried to burn my hair off because I decided my husband preferred blondes, also burnt a significant amount of carpet in a brand new house, pulled a pizza cutter on my husband telling him not to come near me, and let’s end this awesome walk down memory lane with shattering a gorgeous crystal vase whilst dancing atop the island in the kitchen.

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Now, I have no memories of these things. I had to be told what I did. Would you like to know who does remember? My son, who was 4 years old when I did all of that and so much more, I’ve been told. I have no memory of it.

So, yes, these meds are not ideal. We don’t even know how/why they work, they’re expensive, they’re not good for the liver… There are many crappy side effects, such as brain fog and involuntary muscle movements in my leg.

Let me weigh that against my son seeing me pull a pizza cutter on his dad…yeah, for me, there is not even a choice to consider.

Is it the lesser of what really is two evils, yes absolutely, most certainly! But the choice is so simple, that it’s not even really a choice.

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If you are one of the people who think if I ate better and took a vitamin (which I’m doing), the Bipolar and everything that comes along with it, affecting not only me but my entire family, would poof!! be gone, I will just say that I’m glad you are ignorant (not stupid) and unaware of what I’m describing to you. Ignorant of my Bipolar experience. I can, after all, only speak for myself.

I’m glad you don’t face such a choice.

✌✌✌