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4.18.19 blog entry ~ Back Home

So, I’m feeling some better. I have a bit more energy, and I feel…well, I almost feel…like things are more manageable. That is definitely not something I believed a day or two ago. I guess going to the hospital with symptoms mirroring heart issues and being admitted to the hospital, coupled with the likes of nitro and potassium, would rock me to my core. My own dad died of his third heart attack at the age of 44, after all. I’m 42. And his dad died of the same issue at age 47. So, I went, I saw, and was stuck with tons of needles, underwent many tests, and lived to tell the tale. My heart is healthy. I’m stunned. Based on family history and medications alone, never mind our poor diet since I’m not able to cook all the time. But hey, a win is a win!

healthy-heart

 

I’m home now, but I am still experiencing the same pain. That part makes me angry.

I’m tired of physical and mental ailments. “Sick and Tired” – perfect description. Just gotta keep putting one foot in front of the other, I suppose.

A friend told me I’m an inspiration to her because, “You keep going, love.” Eh. To which I replied that I just continue breathing because of these sorts of invisible life support machines that won’t let me go. A large part of me still believes that, but I’m starting to come back round and count my blessings. Tonight, I even enjoyed watching and smelling rain and freshly cut grass. That was a nice Reset Button, if you will. I’ve been listening to my favorite playlists via Amazon Music – performers such as Halsey, Bruce Springsteen and Billie Eilish, and watching whatculture on youtube. I just love that channel with its discussion of films, comic books and gaming. And heck, I’m writing this, and I’ve chosen a new book to read. Those are good indicators of my better moods. Anything like that, as well as creating craft dΓ©cor and reading/writing poetry are significant and usually mean good things, even if my poetry reads as “dark.”

Anyway, I’m managing. How are you guys? Anything new? Anything you need or want to share?

Take care of yourself, and when you can, each other.

 

(photo credit: guysandgoodhealth)

Domino Effect

Domino Effect ~ 10.3.18

Kindness begets kindness.

Hope begets hope.

Honesty begets honesty.

Support begets support.

Art begets art.

Dominos isolated on white

Does your friend know you love him/her because you were sure to remind him/her of that today?

From whom did you receive encouragement because you had, in the past, motivated that person?

What did you create today based on a poem you read, or a song you heard?

Bipolar (and any chronic illness) can rob us of being able to do these things, but if we stick together, I believe we’ll make it.

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Love, light and peace. πŸ’›πŸ™πŸŒžβœŒ

These Are a Few of My Favorite Things🎡🎡🎡

I’m down tonight. I am not 100% certain why. May just be those misfirings in my brain, but I think it is likely due to all the physical pain I’m enduring right now. My feet and the tendonitis and bone spurs. My lower lumbar fused back. Joints suffering with arthritis, and a fibromyalgia flare-up.

So, it’s time to turn to things I know will help me emotionally hold on, rather than give in to this sadness.

A much-loved Bible devotional.

A lovely and inspiring Bible.

Philippians 4:6 This scripture verse helped me make it through my first mental health hospital stay. I love that the best verses in this Bible have a colored pictures and drawings. My husband also bought me a book to color various verses in Psalms, when he gifted me the Bible.

Adore good smelling stuff. Makes me feel pretty, and things start improving. Plus, I think it keeps Bipolar’s stench at bay. πŸ˜‰

Again with the smell good stuffs. Drop a few drops in a diffuser, shower, laundry… Orange is my first choice. There are tons of pleasant scents. Smell as diffuser fills the air, relax, ground myself, and pray.

Cat toys because the cat and I are about to play fetch. Yep, those are ponytail holders. I throw those, as well as some mouse toys, he jumps, catches them, and brings them back to me. Like I said, fetch.

Richard Parker (yep, tiger in Life of Pi) and I snuggling. He was comforting me in this photo. He hugs.

These are a few things I do, in addition to walking the dogs for a bit, doing chair exercises and stretches, and praying. And I feel better. Sometimes a lot better. Sometimes just a bit. But I gotta keep chipping away it.