Better

12.30.19

Hey guys. How are we? I’m better. I didn’t realize I was in a place that would eventually result in me saying I’m feeling “better.” Yet, here we are. I wouldn’t say I’ve been depressed. Just blah. But I guess being blah for a long period of time and living at the intersection of just okay and mild depression can be difficult to detect. Now that I’m feeling better, I’m trying to learn from this last spell in order to determine if there were signs so that next time I might recognize things quicker. Two that I can think of immediately are:

1) I wasn’t writing and had no interest in doing so.

2) I really was not wanting my cat in my lap, didn’t want to play or snuggle with him. Luckily, he has my son and husband as well. Anyway, I am feeling better. I’m looking forward to 2020. Have a few plans and goals. I even talked about it in a YouTube video that I will link.

A huge thanks if you check out the channel. Much appreciated.

What are some goals you guys are going to work toward in the new year?

 

Building a Bipolar and MI Community

Hey guys. Please check out my latest YT video. I hope you want to stick around as we grow. If so, please Subscribe. I hope you Like it and indicate that with the thumbs up, and please feel free to Share. Any Comments are appreciated as well. All of that groovy stuff helps the channel get recommended to others.

And how are you all? I hope to hear from you. I hope you are well. We’ve got to stick together.

 

Share

Are you coming out of a period of Depression? Do you have any advice for acclimating to your surroundings and the people in your life? – The coming up for air, so to speak? What do you do then? –

20180730_004717_00011.png

One thing I do, which may sound odd because during Depression people tend to “sleep” a lot. (It’s really just a sort of sleep. It’s not a healthy rest, and it’s often hiding away.) So ironically, when I’m significantly better, I sleep for about 12-15 hours, and sleep peacefully, absent the nightmares, and wake feeling so much better.
I also hydrate with water and juice.

You guys care to share anything?

7 27 18 blog entry

7.27.18 Blog Entry

One of the hardest things to do when I’m extremely depressed and experiencing anxiety attacks is…well…anything. So, today, when I wanted to hide under the cover (or drive to a hotel to sleep and cry) I managed to shower, put together a grocery list, made some quick, yummy pasta, and took care of a few bills. Also had a good talk with my son. This sounds like…well…not a lot, but when I’m this far down and pondering various methods of death, it is quite significant.

motivation-depression-anxiety

Therefore, just like I tell my son (he too has Bipolar) I’m congratulating myself and calling it a win!

You Are Not Alone

YOU ARE NOT ALONE ~ 7.14.18

One thing about mental illnesses vs physical (& visible) illnesses is the response and support I receive from friends, fellow church members and even family members.

Broke my foot, my support system and community rallied to provide meals for at least two weeks, which was much appreciated.

Down and depressed though, rarely have I received offers of the same kind of help.

I have been thinking, why is that? I’ve come up with two reasons, as far as my own experience goes.

1. People are uncomfortable around someone struggling with depression and/or anxiety. It’s just the truth.

2. I have not done a good job reaching out and asking for help. So why on earth would friends and family feel anything else besides uncomfortable?

Having pondered that, I’ve decided in the future I will try my very best to ask for help, and during my okay times, I’ll continue to try to share things about Bipolar with others.

I would like for there to be encouragement and support for those with illness, as well as their family and friends, on this site.

20180714_212729_0001

I want people to know they are not alone.

Make Sure You’re Not Spewing Crap…

bca5e6e6a4846e27c720eefd2177041c

Advice.

Please, refrain from saying the following to those in your life fighting mental illness:

1. Get a Grip.

2. Cheer Up. (Wouldn’t I have already done if I could have?)

3. You Don’t Look Depressed. (Whatever…)

4. You Will Get Better When You Set Your Mind to It (Yeah, it’s that easy, but I elect to discard that and suffer.)

5. You’re Just Seeking Attention (Okay, you caught me. It’s why I have sooo many people in my life.)

6. Smile More. 😁😁😁

7. If You Pray Enough, God Will Take Away Your Anxiety. (That’s not exactly how it works.)

8. Why Do You Always Feel Sorry for Yourself? (No idea. You win.)

4e942d558f7d93e8d546b7fe0bee7a45

9. If You Want to Get Better, You Will. (For realzzz!? Maybe I can find a golden ticket!)

try-this-dontbesuchaniasshole-memes-com-13861423

72 Hours

Day Three of Depression, worsening, sinking fast. Aching to find stability. What will I do?

First, I won’t stay down. I will get up, no matter how painful. I always have, no matter the emotional and physical toll. No matter the length of time. No matter how t.i.r.e.d.

do-not-go-gentle-into-that-good-night

 

 

So, right now, this is what I’m doing. Please note, I am not doing these things because I feel like they will help. Depression is deceitful. It is a liar. I feel like shrugging shoulders and curling into a ball to sleep.

IMG_20170323_012943

Here’s what’s key for me. I “feel” these emotions. However, I have to rely on my memory, logic and rationale. Must do the things I know will help me work through the depression. That requires a lot of strength. I’m fighting what the depression is telling me, while I agree and believe what it’s saying. That’s tricky, folks! I do believe, however, people with Bipolar Disorder are strong, intelligent and fighters.

So, I go outside. I notice the various green shades of trees, hear the birds sing, πŸ¦†πŸ¦πŸ€ watch the squirrels run for their lives (previously mentioned birds chasing them from nesting areas), and take in floral smells. 🌻🌹 Basically, a grounding-type walk. Staying in the present. Noticing beauty. Involving all of my senses, much like cooking, or creating art. I snuggle with my cat. I watch an episode of Chrisley Knows Best – can’t watch it without laughing. I listen to audiobooks, a different voice reading to me instead of hearing my voice. I listen to music. 🎡🎧🎢 I do some stretches and PT. I pray, often, in fact, during those walks that I mentioned. πŸ™πŸ™ I use my diffuser with essential oils – orange, citrus, cinnamon and peppermint are my favs for depressed bouts. Colouring, I do some. Super important, I reach out to family and friends. Support is key. Interaction of any kind gets you outside your head, gets you out of your own way.

IMG_20170323_014533

What happens is simple. I occupy myself until the winter in my head becomes spring. I distract myself while rain gives way to sunshine. I learn while seeds in mud blossom into flowers. Β Sometimes, these techniques, and many more, simply hang out with me until I feel better. More often than not, they not only help me in the immediate moment, they actually bring about smiles and beauty, all the while helping climb out of depression’s black hole. Is it as simple as – do steps 1, 2, 3 and poof! I’m better? No. But it helps me make it one day at a time.

2fe8ae2190513b8303209651c4b46fbe

 

What helps You? Would you care to share? ✌✌✌